I’ve spent my entire life in search of truth.
 
Truth in the suffering and violence I endured growing up.
 
Truth in the choices I made that landed me in situations I regretted.
 
Truth in the awareness I experienced as a result of my quest for the answer to the one thing that eluded me.
 
WHY?
 
I questioned everything.
 
Relationships
Purpose
Dogma
Sexuality
Suffering
Oneness
Mysticism
Hatred
Desire
Life
Free will
Belief
Religion
Doctrine
Pleasure
Death
 
I questioned it all.
 
Every answer led me deeper within myself. Beyond personality & ego. Beyond inherited beliefs. Beyond spirituality. Beyond my own existence.
 
It led me to the very foundation of consciousness.
 
I AM
 
I used to think the road to truth would lead me to a great big revelation.
 
That I would take on knowledge. Stories. Excerpts of consciousness.
 
But that’s not what happens.
 
It’s an unshedding.
 
A relinquishing of what you think is real. When you do that, what is truth is revealed. It is not about more knowledge. It’s about letting go. It’s about that zero point, the void, where all that remains is the awareness of you.
 
And from there you recognize it is a dream. One that you created. And one which is infinite.
 
I set out on this road thinking I would discover more of who I am.
 
Instead, I found the answer in relinquishing who I am not.
 
What is next?
 
Death.
 
The end of a business whose existence was to guide me to self-realization, a deeper experience of myself as creator. Within this death, I release my business with gratitude as I watch the flames of renewal burn it to the ground.
 
In the aftermath, I see hidden within its inky, soft black ashes, gentle, fiery orange embers glowing with promise.
 
Re-Birth.
 
An expansive perspective overflowing with the undiscovered and the unimagined.
 
While I take some time to allow what is to come to germinate within consciousness, I ask you, what must you relinquish in your life? What strongholds must the bonfire of renewal burn to ash in order for you to shed what holds you captive to endless striving and seeking?
 
I dreamed a dream of my own making.
 
I dreamed a dream that led to truth.
 
I dreamed a dream with eyes wide open.
 
Until we meet again,
 
. . . . . . . .
(formerly, Tracy Elizabeth)