All of the pain, the lifetime of trauma/drama, the excuses I had shoved down into the recesses of my being were laid bare.
I’d love to say I sailed through it, but I didn’t. I kicked and I screamed and I sobbed my way from beginning to…right now. There’s never an end to involution. Not really.
But through that firestorm of pain came realizations of who I am. Of the lies I had told myself lifetime after lifetime. Of the power I have been afraid to wield.
And as often happens, when we think we’ve weathered the worst of it, my world shattered beyond recognition. Someone I love most deeply almost died. And all of the awakening I thought I had experienced thus far paled in comparison to the soul deep pain and anguish I was experiencing.
As I sat in that ambulance, many things about my life became abundantly clear. I suddenly realized that all the claptrap I had been holding onto wasn’t real. It meant nothing. It was unimportant.
In those moments, clarity rushed in like a tidal wave and I knew I was headed down the road to a future I hadn’t prepared for and one that had been waiting for me my entire life.
Men have no problem being themselves, but women, we push and shove and contort ourselves to fit into an acceptable pigeonhole lest we offend anyone.
Well, fuck that!
In those moments I acknowledged all of the lies I had accepted as absolute and recognized that it was time for me to stare it boldly in the eye and declare the truth.
This is not about shocking you. This is not about open rates, or titillating subject lines, tactics or tricks—I’m so done with being told I have to do the newest marketing juju if I want to be successful. I don’t accept that.
I am so sick of fake people and fake businesses telling me to follow their one size fits all blueprint to create a life/biz that resembles the soft focus blur of the Sound of Music. Nothing against Julie Andrews, but that is not my ideal life or biz. Stop the madness. I want honest connection, true sharing, the highs and the lows. I want the truth, the naked truth, raw and unflinching.
This is about being real. Sharing with you what I’ve learned through life experience and my Divine gifts of energy work, that will not only help you to navigate your life, but do so in a way that is significant and genuine—for you.
For the record, it’s not always about ease. The only people that never feel despair or fear or rage or any number of so called “negative” emotions are the ones sleepwalking through life.
That’s not me.
And if you’ve read this far, that’s probably not you, either.
We are headed where the majority are afraid to go and, in doing so, will claim our messy, painful, glorious, awake and one-of-a-kind life. One that is ours. One that is real. And one that sets our souls free.
So I ask you, , who are you doing this for? Your life, who are you doing this for? Do you believe you were you put on this earth to martyr yourself for others or are you here for a bigger purpose?
What are you afraid will happen if you SAY what you really mean and DO what you really want to do?
Are you afraid you won’t be liked? That you’ll be gossiped about? Or judged? Are you afraid that you will lose friends? Or that you will be shamed/ridiculed/criticized/hated?
Or are you afraid that someone will discover your hidden pain, the one you’ve buried so deep that it rears its head (bringing chaos & drama along for the ride) when you least expect it?
Whose life is it? Yours or your parents/ friends/ brother/ sister/ husband/ wife/ boss/ client/ stranger-on-facebook?
When you’re lying on your death bead at 97, what do you think you will regret?
The things you were afraid to do or the things you did?
The words you swallowed or the words you shouted from the rooftops?
The relationships/sex/experiences you were too afraid to go for, or the ones you “tolerated”?
I’m no longer stifling my voice. I have (a lot of) something to say and I will say it my way, sans apology or shrinking.
And people will love me or they will hate me, but there will be no in between.
And I don’t fucking care.
If this is not your thing or you’re not ready for where I am going, it’s all good.
Life is too short to be a paper version of you.
be Wild, be Bold, be FREE
P.S., 2017 will lay bare all that you have denied, ignored and suppressed. You cannot hide from yourself. Own Your DarknessTM is coming. Get ready.